Little Rascals

“You are free; you are free to go to your temples, you are free to go to your mosques or to any other place of worship in this State of Pakistan. You may belong to any religion or caste or creed — that has nothing to do with the business of the State... We are starting with this fundamental principle that we are all citizens and equal citizens of one State... I think we should keep that in front of us as our ideal and you will find that in due course Hindus would cease to be Hindus and Muslims would cease to be Muslims, not in the religious sense, because that is the personal faith of each individual, but in the political sense as citizens of the State.” Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah on August, 11 1947

I was listening to his speech yesterday and it sent me into an abyss of thoughts, about my nation. I felt as if we are just a bunch of spoiled kids who will do anything except for respecting their father’s advice. Even though Equality, justice and democracy were supposed to be the principles of this newly founded state of Pakistan, yet it took us 9 years to form our 1st constitution (though I am ashamed to call it a constitution). Furthermore, the people of Pakistan had to wait for another 15 years after that, to cast their first votes. While waiting for the fulfillment of this particular desire, many enthusiasts like me would have departed forever. A few might have gone a step further, declaring the vote in their will. But the truth is that none of the circumstances ever bothered any of the “presidents” to hold a “real” election.

Another very important principle of this sate’s policy, in the eyes of Quaid, was equality among all the Pakistanis, without any discrimination of religion, sect, caste or ethnicity. But, being the little rascals that we are, nothing positive should have been expected from us and we proved it. Soon after our dad departed to heavens, we turned this country upside down, like that notorious kid in home alone. It Started with Punjab disturbances in 1953 during our persecution movement against Ahmadis, and since then, we have never looked back. Of note is the fact that we didn't stop fighting, even after losing half of the country. There has always been some feeling of indifference among us. I want to present the trend of these clashes during different decades.

50s’ was the era of reawakening of Islam, so we found Ahmadis to be our targets, and started propagating hate against them. It’s Result being the loss of many valuable lives. 60s was the period when we rediscovered our culture. As a consequence Pakistan faced the disputes among Pathans and Mohajirs in Karachi, as well as among Punjabis and Bengalis in Dhaka. This led to the unfortunate separation of our Eastern half and it looked for a moment as if we might learn something. 70s remained comparatively stable except for the persecution of local nationalist parties by “The Nationalist party”, alongwith some more persecution of Ahmadis by the preachers of brotherhood. 80s was the time for retribution and rewriting history. So, Pathan-Mohajir killings got converted into Mohajir-Pathan killings. Another important factor was the rise of extremism and fanaticism. This new ideology directed us to the Sunni-Shia disturbances of 90s. However, since 9/11 the main dispute has been between Islamic radicals and not so Islamic moderates. Although, there are many instances of religious persecution and ethnic killings, but even these examples revolve around the same idea of religious fanaticism.

The deeper motives in all these cases were solely political but, unfortunately, the victims and the assailants have always been The Common Pakistanis. We ignored our father’s advice on several occasions and, knowingly, let our leaders manipulate us. What Quaid said on that day, is usually taken in the sense of religious freedom but I believe it is much more than that. I think that he was delivering a message of tolerance. As a matter of fact, Pakistan was founded on a religious identity and he knew that if we can tolerate an entirely different ideology in our country, then resolving our own disputes would be a minor concern.

If we analyze the losses that these home grown tensions have caused us, we would forget about considering India, West or Taliban as our prime enemies. We’ll realize that the enemy is within us. He might be a dishonest politician, a crooked Mullah, a corrupt bureaucrat, an avaricious journalist or a controversial conspiracy theorist. Whoever he is, his aim would be to propagate hatred through his oratory or scripts. However, unfortunate is the fact that we frequently fail to recognize such people. And it is only because of own moral corruption and prejudice towards others. When we will start looking at the minorities as Human-beings and Pakistanis instead of Hindus, Christians, Ahmadis, Ismailis, Shiites or Pathans, Mohajirs, Sindhis and Baluchis etc, only then will we make any real progress. I, intentionally, left the religion out of this discussion because it is one area that has been exploited most. And I may be wrong, but I would dare to say that until the appearance of Mahdi R.A, we should atleast consider each other humans if not Muslims. So, let everyone follow his/her own faith and let God decide who’s the righteous.

I would request you readers to start looking at everyone as the sons of Adam, for just a couple of days. I am sure, you would feel the difference. You would be able to isolate the hate expressions of some cleric in a mosque, a journalist in newspaper or a politician on TV. You would be able to identify it, if someone tries to invoke your chauvinistic beliefs.

The inspiration for this article was, my inability to work for flood relief, due to the situation in karachi. Our whole city got paralyzed for a week, when fellow Pakistanis needed us desperately. For that reason, it is imperative that if, God forbade, Pakistan faces a natural disaster again, we need to see these little rascals, of our most populated city, doing some relief work instead of protecting themselves from rampant gunfire. And to do that, they have to find a permanent solution to their mutual differences.

Return of The King

I was expecting my government to be highly inefficient, in light of their performance in past 30 months, but I must say that I was wrong. Mr. President’s response was much quicker than most in the league. Previously this award was held by Mr. Rehman Malik for changing statements, Mr. FarhatUllah Babar for denying any allegation and Mr. Altaf BAHI for condemning every incident that happens in Pakistan.

The king has returned to his land. And after returning, it is very likely that he will address the nation. Anticipating this, I decided to write what he might say, including some explanation of his text. This will help in creating better understanding between the king and his subjects. So, let us see, what our king has to say to us.

In The name of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The most Merciful

My fellow countrymen, Assalam-o-aAlaikum

When I was in London, the weather over there reminded me of my beloved country (Switzerland). The rain used to sink my heart whenever I thought about my fellow countrymen in such a disaster. I want to share the grief of those who lost their families (Oh Please!). I want to tell them that I can feel their pain, because my loved ones have also departed while making sacrifices for this country (here we go again). I lost my Father-in-law through courts. My two brothers-in-law were also assassinated. My wife, Shaheed Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto, was martyred by the extremists, and YET, I never stopped giving my services to this country (you are such a manipulator).

I spent 10 years in jail for the crimes that I did not commit. (It was in jail where he was taught about the con-art, trumps and Punjabi language). When I was released, I led my party to a win by majority in Feb, 08 elections. People trusted in us (they don’t trust anymore!). They gave us mandate to serve them for five years (it was a mandate not a tender notice or a govt. contract). And inshAllah, with the help of God and those buried in Nodero, our government will complete its tenure.

I know that some elements in media have joined hands with the Establishment to conspire against me. And I want to let them know that I am not afraid of anyone (including God). But, I want to tell my fellow Pakistanis that these elements are actually conspiring against the democracy, justice and welfare of Pakistani people (look who’s talking!). They criticized my foreign visit and advertised it as a wrong and insensitive political move on my behalf.

I want my fellow countrymen to realize the importance of our relations with France and UK. Your President has some unfinished business in the courts of these countries. And as a nation, we would suffer great embarrassment if he is dragged into those courts at some point of time. In addition to this, it is also a fact that they always provide us “aid”. This is something that these conspirators will never consider because of their disregard for the national solidarity.

I want to ask them, why are they doing all this? Is this because I am elected by the people of Pakistan? Or is it because everyone in my family has died for democracy? (you should also write a biography like hitler's Mein Kampf aka My Struggle. Seriously.)

During my recent visit, I practiced much caution, but they still managed to malign me. Even though, I didn’t flirt with anyone on live TV, didn’t drink publicly, my associates were not caught in some unusual places and, even, the lady guides were paid in advance, unlike in Turkey where our high commission got our accounts frozen as a punishment for not paying the ladies.

First, they hired paid labourers to protest against me but I ensured the fair play (by hiring jiyalas with government budget). Then, they spread the rumour that someone threw a shoe at me. Although it was denied by the govt. officials but some channels still aired the news, on account of some random eye-witnesses. In this way, they actually challenged the credibility of our govt. and I am glad to hear that some youngsters of Karachi protested “peacefully” against those channels. We need more of such youth for the bright future of Pakistan.

I must inform my fellow citizens that my visit was still a success in spite of so much criticism. And, I also managed to collect £7m as relief funds (it would have been better if bilawal were to collect these funds while you had returned. If he cannot do THAT then I am afraid, you should have a second thought before serving him our country in a dish. Perhaps it would have been a lot better if you could have donated this meager amount from your own pocket).

In the end, I also want to warn PML (N) and other allied parties to stop exploiting people’s emotions. This unfortunate tragedy should not be used for political motives (perhaps they should just sit on their cozy sofas like PPP ministers, instead of helping the affected). People should know that government is doing, whatever it can, to help the people(Is that the best you can do!).

I would like to end my speech with prayers for those who died (and also for those who fortunately survived. Prayer is all they can get from him).

Pakistan Khappay, Khappay, Khappay

(Oh wait a minute! I thought the speech was about the recent floods)

Disclaimer:
This article represents writer's own thoughts and none of it is spoken by our beloved king. We all pray to God to give him a long life (elsewhere).

The problem with our leaders is, as mentioned by Javed Choudhary, that they categorize the issues as those of people and those of govt. And the later always take a priority.

A Letter To Mr. President

Mr. President of Pakistan,
London, UK

Dear Mr. President,

I hope that you are in perfect health and enjoying the time of your life in London. And expect that you would be enjoying the drizzle there, unlike the rest of us. You went away for just a week or so, but we missed you so much that we counted each and every moment. As a consequence, we prolonged our own agony while anticipating your return. This further aggravated our restlessness and doubtlessly increased your love in our hearts. I, especially, became so impatient that I couldn’t stop myself from writing this letter.

So, first of all, let me congratulate you on your “successful” visit. Rumours are that it was a disaster but who cares about those chattering media personnel. They are against you anyway. Therefore, I would take for granted, the word of our beloved information minister which, to me, is second only to The Divine Message. And although, Media and establishment tried their best to impede your way by their “propaganda” but you showed them “what” you are made of (by not listening to anyone). So far, that’s the best quality which manifested in your ever evolving and revolving personality

By the way did you hear about what happened in Pakistan after your departure? Mr. Syed Raza Haider of MQM was shot dead and Karachi started burning after that. So far, 100 people have died in these ethnic killings. PM reached karachi a day before yesterday. He probably travelled on foot as air travel isn't so safe anymore. I don’t want to ruin your entertainment packed trip but I must inform you about the floods too. News agencies reported that upto 14 million Pakistanis lost everything they owned including around 1500 of their relatives. Pretty nice statistics right! I would suggest that it’s a great opportunity for you to collect more “aid”.

I saw your pictures with Mr. Cameron and absolutely loved your grinning. One must say that it is a sign of true leadership. Only a person like you can chuckle when the whole nation is in shock and grief. I also heard about the warm welcome you received from the overseas Pakistanis. There, I spotted a placard too, which stated “GO ZARDARI GO” and I am sure it must have boosted your morale. I, myself, experience the same feeling when I hear my enthusiastic friends raising slogans, while running with the ball in my feet.

And oh, I heard about that shoe throwing incident. To be very frank, I knew it was going to happen someday. My friends and I, were quite optimistic that Bush’s feat is not going to stay unmatched as long as you are in power. Now, we can also boast about the shoe throwing games on facebook depicting our president. I was thinking about challenging my States’ friends on “who can get more hits”.

But, I wonder why Mr. Farhat Ullah Babar denied this incident and why did some other official call it a publicity stunt? I think you are already publicized to the brim. However, to be honest, I was also upset at the same time since our PM didn’t take “notice” of this incident. Nevertheless, It was very pleasing to hear about the valiant attacks of PPP jyalas (juhlaas) on hawkers and cable operators. That reminded me of the fearlessness of German Gestapo.

Thus, in short, I would say that your visit resulted in a great accomplishment despite all the efforts by the establishment and media to malign you, and you rose up to the mark in spite of immense pressure. You also collected a lot of funds for relief work. And I absolutely agree with your statement that it's the job of Chief Executive to look after the state affairs. It reminded me of the old times when kings used to know nothing about their people. And it made a lot of sense to me. After all, we should be reviving the glorious old traditions.

So I would recommend that whenever, God forbade, we are hit by a disaster in future, our PM should be the one roaming in the streets and visiting “fake” hospitals and relief camps. While you should do, what you do best, which is….collecting money.

Regards,
Silent Griever

Let The Change Begin!!!...

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed…” The words of Martin Luther King Jr. (MLK Jr.) echoed in my ears like a restless soul wandering in the wilderness. And it pierced my heart akin to a Spartan spear, as I was thinking about my nation’s future. For, I belong to a nation which is long awaited for a savior like him.

Though he was the son of a pastor and a pastor himself, and a doctorate in philosophy too, but yet he was a common man, a NEGRO. It was only with the faith that he had in himself and his cause, and the courage and perseverance which he showed, that he became the icon of liberalism and civil rights.

He based his movement on ideals of Christianity and the operational techniques of Gandhi. And although, he was jailed several times, his home was bombed and he was physically assaulted on many occasions. Yet, his protest remained peaceful and non-violent.

America, in those days, was faced with more racial and cultural differences than Pakistan in these times. As Luther said, there was discrimination and segregation between the blacks and the whites, the Catholics and the Protestants, the Jews and the Gentiles, the Natives and the Immigrants. Thus, USA was in the deep quagmire of ethnic tensions. But, her citizens did not pick up weapons, did not burn markets or kill the bystanders. Their leaders did not provoke the masses to turn against each other.

However We, the Orientals still think that we are the superior race. We are proud of our religion, faith, social system and our family traditions. And we feel pity for the West. We talk about their selfishness and materialism, with reference to their old parents, their illegitimate kids and their single moms. But while listing their weaknesses, we forget ours.

We forget that we kill our brothers in Islam for being too ‘tolerant’; we destroy a person’s property just because of our bursting fury for unrelated reasons, we can’t withstand ‘others’ living and prospering in our cities, we kill people on ideological, lingual and ethnic basis, and we don’t just kill, we massacre them.

When it comes to patriotism, national solidarity, human rights and personal restraint, I must say that the West seems a lot better than us.

So why can’t we stand together? Why are we silent and afraid? Why do we fear the Americans, the Taliban, and the state police? Why do we fear our own army as much as we fear militants? Because we don’t fear THE ONE who is to be feared. And, that is why we are oppressed and weak.

When we look towards our masquerading leaders, they claim to be our saviors, but they are not! And quite interestingly, when we are asked to choose a leader, we always make the same wrong choices. And we justify ourselves by saying that we didn’t have any other choice.

Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different outcomes” and if that’s true then we are all insane.

But let us not despair. For, out of chaos, comes order, and out of oppression, appears resistance. When the nation grieves but the hope remains, only then does God send a Messiah. He sent all of his prophets in difficult times. And then, when poverty rose, Marx was born. When a civilization was subdued, Iqbal was sent and when oppression became unbearable, MLK Jr. emerged. They might not be prophets but they were definitely better than millions.

Sooner or later we will find someone like them. And then it will be our courage, perseverance and faith that will bring us glory.

So let us all have a dream that one day our nation will also rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed.

It is said that the change begins at hearts and it creates a butterfly effect which goes on to alter the world map. And fortunately, it has begun for many of us. It won’t take long to make that change obvious.

My motivation to write this article was a friend’s facebook status. His frustration and pessimism was quite evident, just like that, which is building inside the rest of us. And, it’s a good sign because it means we are sensing the pain. This is the first step to progress.

However, I will request the youth to stay patient and have faith in themselves. And if we keep advancing, then inshAllah one day, we’ll get to the Promised Land.

Long Live Pakistan